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Serious Germany*

June 10, 2017

“I can definitively say the president is not a liar. It’s frankly insulting that that question would be asked.” —Susan Huckabee Sanders

I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. I watched in Jersey City. Thousands cheered when the World Trade Center fell. We’ve got lots of killers. Whatyou think our country’s so innocent? At what point does America get demeaned? At what point do they start laughing at us? The Civil Warif you think about itwhy? Why was there the Civil War? A well-educated black has a tremendous advantage over a well-educated white. Obama said he was born in Kenya because if you say you were born in Kenya, you get aid and you get into colleges. I have people studying Obama’s birth certificate. They cannot believe what they’re finding. His grandmother in Kenya said, “Oh, no, he was born in Kenya, and I was there, and I witnessed the birth.” She’s on tape. I moved on her like a bitch. I think that tape’s going to be produced fairly soon. Nuclear is powerful. It’s like a magnet. My uncle explained that to me. I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world. My IQ is one of the highest. I have the best words. Have you heard the expression “prime the pump”? I came up with that a couple of days ago. I thought it was good. Please don’t feel stupid or insecure. It’s not your fault. The concept of global warming was created by the Chinese. People don’t realize. Where’s the “What the fuck” chorus now? I’m new at this. I’m not steeped in long-running protocols. I free-ride processes I know nothing about. In fact, when I first started, I said, “Oh, no. This is a staining day. This election is a total sham. This is the biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan. Millions voted illegally. They’re rapists. I moved on them like a bitch. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy.” And then God looked down and said, “We’re not going to let it rain on your speech. See that beautiful Rose Garden? See those nicely dressed people? It’s religious liberty out there.” I always liked order. I like order and I like strength. This is serious Germany, right? My twitter has become so powerful I can actually make my enemies tell the truth. And the truth is, the rain stopped immediately. It was amazing. And then it became really sunny. And then the sun blew out along the mountains to the west. And then I walked off and it poured.

*[Compiled, with a few exceptions, entirely from Donald Trump’s utterances and writings.]

One Comment leave one →
  1. June 10, 2017 3:46 PM

    I’m sure Paul Ryan would have an explanation for all this and if this were a bill Mitch McConnell would fast track it under Rule 14.

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